Domination vs Oppression

We are living in fraught times. The religious and political right are mounting a charge against our rights to determine how we live our lives, and the most intense locus of this war on the freedom of the individual is the battlefield of women’s reproductive rights.

At the same time, we are in a period of history where the fictitious ‘50’s ideal of a woman at home, devoted to pleasing her man, is removed enough from our day-to-day reality that a good many women are choosing to adopt that role, or variants of it, and are eager to submit to the will of the man in their lives, to have him assume a dominant role over her.

On the face of it, it may appear that the dominant male, in control of his female, is in some way roughly congruent with the religious zealot who seeks to control women and their bodies.

Nothing, however, could be further from the truth.

The dominant male is a product of liberty. A woman in control of her life, her body and her destiny may find some pleasure in choosing to give up a measure of that control, whether it be for an evening or a lifetime. And the man who assumes that control is doing it in some way in service of the pleasure of the submissive woman.

This dominance and submissiveness is born of freedom, of liberty and of the dogged pursuit of a greater pleasure. While some of the outward manifestations may appear to be similar to the zealot’s demands, the impetus behind them is pleasure, and their soil is freedom.

And their prerequisite is reproductive choice.

Where some lawmakers seem determined that any woman who can be impregnated any way at all should give herself over to her destiny as a baby factory, the dominant male is more typically free to exercise his role because reproductive choice has been established. The means of avoiding pregnancy and, if necessary, heading it off at the pass, gives the couple the freedom to indulge the full range of their degeneracy without having their role-play turn unexpectedly generative.

In sum, where the zealot seeks to control women’s reproductive choice in a misguided effort to disempower women and in some way ensure that women bear the constant weight of the Sin of Eve, the dominant man depends on a woman’s freedom of choice – and that choice includes the freedom to choose to give over a measure of control over her life to another, to enrich the opportunity for pleasure for them both.

Me, I will always choose pleasure over oppression.
(A kinkier and far more explicit, visceral version of this stance is featured over at my RG blog here)